Well I found a few old friends myspace pages today. It's... weird. One seems espically different. One of the other has their space of friendsonly type lock, which is so lame. Cos I don't want my own myspace I just want to read hers, see whats she doing in life. I know they wouldn't have any interest in talking to me again but I wonder what they're up to y'know. *le sigh*
I'm thinking about getting a new lj. I don't like this one anymore. Theres way to many entries just of surveys and I hate the layout. I just cant' think of anything to name a new one. T_T;; lame.

Wanna hear something ygo obsessed? Y'know how when you're obsessed with something you'll find something to do with that obsession at any time in any way in anything.. well I did that the other day. It was in a song. A song called "Addicted" by none other than the most unlikely person to like ygo in the world, Miss Kelly Clarkson. It goes as follow "It's like you're a drug, It's like you're a demon I can't face down... " Note the italic-ness. Firstly I heard, 'face down' and I thought of ygo obviously.. then it just hit me, "Omg! A demon monster I can't play in face down mode" .. then I pretty much died laughing because the song, although I'm not 100% sure, doesn't really have anything to do with ygo.
Funny stuff.

Wow. I feel really craptastic right now. *sigh* It just piles up. I feel sick, I have the shivers even though it's hot, I feel dizzy, and I feel alone. I'm also it quite a huge amount of pain. I've been pretty alright for the past few weeks but for some reason it all hit me today.. just before now. Sometimes I wish somebody actually read this stupid journal.. buuuut they don't.
My two gay-friends recently got engaged, which is great for them y'know. They've only been together for like 2years I think.. but whatever they feel the need to do is fine with me. That was actually a month ago, one of their bdays. And I haven't heard from them since. They didn't even actually call me to tell me they were engaged, I just know the other would never have said no... It feels selfish somehow, they're having the most exciting times of their lives and I should be happy for them but I just can't get over the fact that they didn't even bother to tell me the news. They've probably even had some kind of engagement party already and haven't invited me. It is selfish. Yeah I know blah blah, I'm a horrible person. Whatever.  It doesn't matter anyway. 
My life has been all kinds of boring the past.. ohh 19 years few months. Sure there were some good things.. but they all got cancelled out by bad things.
Example? sure. I bought a expensive digital camera, intending to start getting into the photography thing. Good thing yes? Well I had it for three weeks before the batteries leaked. Oh! Did I mention that isn't covered by the warranty? Well it isn't. I took it back and the shop was going to send it back to FujiFilm to be fixed.. they were going to call me in 4 weeks to let me know whats happened. That was 4 weeks ago. I'm sure Fuji will just be like "wtf-ever, her problem, not ours" which is fantastic because theres no fucking way in the world I could afford another..
Oh then my car broke down. Luckily I have a super mum who paided for the new battery for me.
I bought a laptop offline. Yeah, totally screwed over. It's never going to arrive and I'm never getting my money back. Fabulous.
Highlight? I bought another.. well, I got another laptop! From a store. Its on some 40month interest free thing, which I can pay off easily. I'm still waiting for the bad side of this to happen. 

Oh and people are just so fucking lame. I lost 5kgs recently, and they're like "omigod thats so fantastically amazing". Uh.. Wtf? No it isn't. 5kgs is like nothing. It wasn't even worth what I went through to lose it. Argh! Nothing ever goes right. Or at least thats how it feels. 

I still wish my friends would call. I suppose thats more like a blessing because I don't feel like going and seeing them anyway. Well, it's not going to see them I don't want, I just don't want to go out in public. I actually got harassed by some 4y\o kid the other day. I don't even really know what he said, but his mother like flipped out. She said sorry and I said 'oh *pause* it's fine.' then she made him say sorry and I ignored him. Yes yes, real mature I know. The little asshole can just get fucked for all I care. What kind of a person raises a child who goes around abusing adults in public!. He's going to be a little shit when he grows up and can see it now. I wish I knew what he said.. it was just ..really offensive. lol. Oh happy day.
So  yeah, I get harassed everytime I go out in public. People are just assholes frankly, with no respect for one another so I'd rather be a hermit and aviod them at all costs. It would be nice to go out one time I suppose, without some comment or look from people. I just feel like yelling at them sometimes. Something along the lines of "Do you think I enjoy being like this??" or maybe "YOU DON'T KNOW ME" all Jerry Springer like. Oh the total creepyness would be worth it. They'd probably think about it in future before saying something like that to someone again eh? But alas, I'm not nearly outgoing enough to do something like that. I'd rather stare back and kinda mentally rant about it. Which is lame. And stressing. 
Nothing is ever going to change for me. Oh I have the willpower for stuff.. I just don't have God's blessing for things to actually go right for me. I'm sure writing that makes him even happier too.. not. Opps did I just write that out loud? Dang.

This is the longest post I made, that doesn't include surveys, for a long long long time. But like I said, nobody reads it anywho so what does it matter right?
It doesn't!!!
< /end sarcasam >

Rant over. T_T;;;